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CUFF Events

CUFF hosts a variety of gatherings. Some of these—such as munches, orientations, and meetings—are held regularly each month and are open to both newcomers and members alike. Other events may occur with less regularity or may have special entrance requirements.

Virtual and Outdoor Events Now in Effect

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, CUFF meetings and munches are currently either virtual events held through Zoom videoconferencing, or held in outdoor spaces.

Note: Virginia state coronavirus guidelines for social gatherings currently stipulate maintaining physical distancing of 6 feet between individuals who are not members of the same household.


A "munch" is simply a social gathering at a local restaurant. You don't need to be a CUFF Contributor to join us; everyone 18 and up is welcome!

Note: Due to the pandemic, munches currently are either on-line events or held in an outdoor space.


We encourage all newcomers to attend an orientation as soon as possible. In fact, attending an orientation is one of the prerequisites for becoming a CUFF Contributor (see CUFF Bylaws Article III Contributorship Status and CUFF Bylaws Article IV Orientations).

What Will I Learn at an Orientation?

There are several interrelated concepts that are essential to CUFF and the BDSM/fetish community in general. Some of these concepts are embodied in acronyms and initialisms such as SSC, RACK, and CCCC, but it's the message behind the abbreviations that is important. Topics addressed include:

  • Informed Consent
  • Risk Awareness: Health, Physical, Emotional
  • Communication and Negotiating Play
  • Respect for Others
  • Safe calls
  • Safewords
  • Discretion and Privacy
  • Play Party Scene Etiquette
  • Aftercare

An orientation also provides a forum for prospective members to learn more about us and to have a specific chance to ask questions. After the orientation, stay for the regular gathering if you wish.

Note: Due to the pandemic, orientations currently are strictly on-line events.

Monthly Meetings

Note: Due to the pandemic, meetings currently are strictly on-line events.

What Happens At a Meeting?

In our typical meeting format, each monthly gathering begins with an orientation for prospective and returning members. This will be followed by a period of socializing, then by a short business segment, and finally with an educational presentation/demonstration given by one of our own members or by an invited expert from another BDSM group.

The presentations can cover any BDSM/fetish related topic, whether it's flogging, wax-play, or maintaining a master/slave relationship. Sometimes, in lieu of a presentation, we will watch a movie, play a social game, hold a toy swap, share dinner, or engage in a moderated discussion.

Other Events

Play Parties

Play parties are where the kinky play happens. They are held at private locations and are not open to the general public; you must either be a member of CUFF, a guest of a member, or a member of a reciprocal BDSM group. When you join CUFF, you can opt to join a mailing list so that you can receive invitations to the parties.

CUFF Calendar

For the most up-to-date information, see CUFF_ FetLife page.

Import calendar

If the calendar does not appear below, you can try here instead: CUFF Upcoming Events

CUFF Events